Authenticity

I finally met my first client last week. He is a 10 year old boy who has been in our foster program for about 3 years. He has been living with a family for about half of that time, and they are about to begin the adoption process with him. This is always really exciting for my agency, as we do not do many adoptions. My supervisor is the direct case manager for this client, and my role will be to attend all meetings with the family, as well as to work on a lifebook with the child. Lifebooks are similar to scrapbooks, and they focus on biological family, foster family, and school information.

Prior to meeting the client, my supervisor explained to me that the child is not easy to warm up to. She told me it took him a full month to even really begin talking to her. I was expecting to meet a very shy, shielded person. My supervisor also "warned" me that this child is African-American and his foster parents are Caucasian, so that I didn't "freak out" when I saw them. These were her words- I wish I was kidding. I couldn't believe that she thought that would bother me, nor could I believe that was even an issue needing discussion in her mind. I immediately thought it was unprofessional, and that it questioned the social work values of cultural understanding and acceptance.

Once we arrived at the client's home, we sat down around the table with the child and his foster mother. I introduced myself to the child and smiled at him, and he proceeded to smile back and get out of his seat to shake my hand. While we were discussing medications and school issues, he sat there playing with a toy and flipping pages of a book. I decided that since this was my first time with him, I would try to talk to him a bit more instead of focusing only on the discussion. I turned to him and asked him a little bit about the book he was flipping through, about band (which he plays in), and other school things. He was so open and excited that someone was talking to him as another person instead of a strictly business relationship. He opened up immediately to me and was excited to talk to me, contrary to what my supervisor said he would do. We quickly built a rapport that I am excited to build upon next time we meet.

I think the reason he was so open was that I asked him about himself, and then I told him about myself, too. This made me think a lot about authenticity. I think authenticity is important with any client it applies to, but I think it is of utmost importance with children. I do not see how a helping relationship would be beneficial to a child if that child does not feel a sense of comfort, personal connection, care, and realness with their worker. Children do not care about business practices- they want a friendly person to help them through their issues. I am wondering if the same practice standards that apply to adults also apply to children. If so, I do not know that this is valid. We read this week that adjusting for intellectual capacity is important in assessment. Often times, children do not have the same mental capacity as adults, nor do they have the same life experiences. If this is the case, shouldn't we change how we as social workers define the helping process when it comes to children? My supervisor treats children just as she treats adults. While it is important to stay professional and deal with the issues for all clients, it is obvious that her methods did not allow for a strong rapport or relationship with this particular child.

What are the rules about authenticity as it pertains to a child? What are the limits to it? The readings do not specify for age, but I think it is important to consider.